Society only works because people learn how to behave around others. We are not born knowing how to queue, shake hands, say “please”, wear certain clothes to school, respect personal space, celebrate birthdays, follow classroom rules or understand what counts as “normal” behaviour. These expectations are learned through socialisation.

In sociology, socialisation means the process through which individuals learn the norms, values, roles, customs and behaviour expected in their society. It is how we become social beings.

A value is a general belief about what is important, such as respect, success, freedom, equality, religion, family loyalty or hard work. A norm is a more specific rule of behaviour linked to those values. For example, if a society values education, then attending school, completing homework and respecting teachers become expected norms.

Socialisation is important because it helps people fit into society, but sociologists also ask a more critical question: who decides which norms and values are taught, and whose interests do they serve?

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Primary socialisation: learning society in the family

Primary socialisation happens in early childhood, mainly within the family. This is usually the first place where children learn language, manners, gender expectations, emotional behaviour and basic moral ideas about right and wrong.

Families teach norms and values through:

Process	How it works
Imitation	Children copy parents, carers and siblings.
Rewards	Children may be praised for “good” behaviour.
Sanctions	Children may be told off or punished for breaking rules.
Role modelling	Adults show children what behaviour is expected.
Language	Children learn labels such as “kind”, “rude”, “naughty”, “clever” or “ladylike”.

For example, a child who is praised for sharing toys may learn that kindness and cooperation are valued. A child who is told “boys don’t cry” may learn a gendered expectation about masculinity.

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Ann Oakley: gender socialisation in the family

One of the most useful studies for this topic is Ann Oakley’s research on gender socialisation. Oakley argued that families teach children how to behave as boys or girls from a young age. She identified several processes.

Manipulation means parents encourage behaviour seen as suitable for a child’s gender. For example, girls may be praised for looking pretty, while boys may be praised for being strong or brave.

Canalisation means children are directed towards gendered toys and activities. Girls may be given dolls, toy kitchens or craft sets, while boys may be given cars, construction toys or footballs.

Verbal appellations are gendered labels, such as “pretty girl”, “strong boy”, “little princess” or “big man”. These help children develop a gender identity.

Different activities means boys and girls may be encouraged to take part in different household tasks, sports or hobbies.

Oakley’s research is useful because it shows that gender is not simply biological. It is also socially learned.

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Secondary socialisation: learning society beyond the family

Secondary socialisation happens after early childhood and continues throughout life. It involves other agencies of socialisation, such as:

Agency	What it teaches
Education	Discipline, punctuality, achievement, competition, teamwork.
Peer groups	Friendship norms, slang, fashion, belonging, status.
Media	Ideas about beauty, success, gender, celebrity, lifestyle and identity.
Religion	Moral values, rules, beliefs, rituals and community.
Workplace	Professional behaviour, hierarchy, responsibility and timekeeping.

These agencies do not always teach the same messages. A young person may learn one set of values from their family, another from school, and another from friends or social media. This can create tension, especially during adolescence.

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Education and the hidden curriculum

Schools do not only teach subjects such as English, science or sociology. They also teach a hidden curriculum. This means the informal lessons students learn through the organisation of school life.

The hidden curriculum may teach students to:

• obey authority
• arrive on time
• wear uniform
• compete for grades
• accept rules and punishments
• work individually
• respect hierarchy
• see exams as fair measures of ability

Functionalists often see this positively because it prepares young people for adult society. Marxists are more critical because they argue that schools may train students to accept inequality and authority.

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Parsons: school as a bridge between family and society

Talcott Parsons argued that school acts as a bridge between the family and wider society. In the family, children are often treated according to particularistic standards, meaning they are judged as special individuals. For example, parents may treat a child differently because of age, personality or emotional attachment.

In school, children are judged by universalistic standards, meaning the same rules apply to everyone. Students are assessed through exams, behaviour policies, deadlines and classroom expectations.

Parsons argued that this prepares young people for adult life, where they will be expected to follow wider social rules in workplaces and public life.

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Bowles and Gintis: socialisation into capitalism

Bowles and Gintis took a Marxist view of education. They argued that schools prepare students for the world of work in capitalist society. This is known as the correspondence principle, because school mirrors the workplace.

For example:

School	Workplace
Teacher authority	Manager authority
Timetables	Working hours
Uniform rules	Dress codes
Rewards and punishments	Wages and discipline
Grades	Promotion and status

Bowles and Gintis argued that students are socialised into obedience, punctuality and acceptance of hierarchy. This benefits capitalism because future workers learn to accept their position in the system.

This is a useful contrast to Parsons. Parsons sees school socialisation as necessary and beneficial. Bowles and Gintis see it as a way of reproducing inequality.

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Peer groups and identity

Peer groups become especially important during adolescence. Friends can influence language, clothing, music taste, humour, behaviour, attitudes and confidence. Peer groups can also create pressure to conform.

For example, a student may avoid working hard in class if their friendship group sees academic effort as “uncool”. Another student may adopt certain fashion styles, slang or online behaviours to fit in.

Peer groups can support socialisation, but they can also challenge the values taught by family or school.

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Willis: learning to resist school

Paul Willis studied a group of working-class boys he called “the lads”. They rejected school values, mocked authority and developed an anti-school culture. They saw academic work as boring and unmasculine.

However, Willis argued that their resistance did not free them from inequality. Instead, it helped prepare them for working-class jobs. By rejecting education, they limited their own opportunities and reproduced their class position.

This study is important because it shows that socialisation is not always simple or passive. Young people may resist the messages they are taught, but their resistance can still be shaped by class, gender and wider social structures.

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Cooley and Mead: how the self is socially created

Interactionist sociologists focus on how identity develops through everyday interaction.

Charles Horton Cooley developed the idea of the looking-glass self. He argued that we build our self-image by imagining how others see us. If people repeatedly treat someone as clever, confident or troublesome, that person may begin to see themselves in that way.

George Herbert Mead argued that children learn to see themselves from the viewpoint of others. Over time, they develop an understanding of the generalised other, meaning the wider expectations of society.

These ideas are useful because they show that socialisation is not just about being told rules. It is also about learning how others see us and adjusting our behaviour accordingly.

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Goffman: performing identity

Erving Goffman argued that social life is like a performance. People manage the impression they give to others. This is known as impression management.

For example, a student may behave differently:

• with teachers
• with parents
• with close friends
• online
• in a job interview
• at a family event

Goffman used the idea of front stage and back stage behaviour. Front stage is how we behave when we are performing for others. Back stage is where we can relax and behave more privately.

This is useful for understanding identity because it shows that people are not fixed. We adjust ourselves depending on the social situation.

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The media and socialisation

The media is now one of the most powerful agencies of socialisation. Television, film, advertising, music, gaming and social media all provide messages about identity, gender, class, ethnicity, beauty, success and lifestyle.

Media can socialise people by:

• showing role models
• normalising certain lifestyles
• shaping body image
• spreading cultural trends
• influencing political views
• creating moral panics
• promoting consumer culture

For example, social media influencers may teach young people what counts as fashionable, attractive or successful. However, audiences are not always passive. People can reject, reinterpret or challenge media messages.

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Bourdieu: habitus and cultural capital

Pierre Bourdieu argued that socialisation is strongly shaped by social class. He used the concept of habitus to describe the deeply learned habits, tastes, attitudes and ways of behaving that come from a person’s social background.

For example, middle-class children may be socialised into ways of speaking, reading, dressing and interacting that are valued by schools. This gives them cultural capital, meaning knowledge, skills and cultural experiences that can help them succeed in education.

Bourdieu is useful because he shows that socialisation is not equal for everyone. Some forms of culture are valued more highly than others.

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Functionalist, Marxist, feminist and interactionist views

Different sociological perspectives understand socialisation in different ways.

Perspective	View of socialisation
Functionalism	Socialisation creates social order and shared values.
Marxism	Socialisation can reproduce class inequality and obedience to capitalism.
Feminism	Socialisation can reproduce gender inequality and patriarchy.
Interactionism	Socialisation happens through everyday interaction, labelling and identity formation.
Postmodernism	Identity is more fluid, chosen and influenced by media and consumer culture.

This is why socialisation is such an important topic. It links to culture, identity, inequality, education, family, media, crime and deviance.

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Final summary

People learn the norms and values of society through socialisation. This begins in the family through primary socialisation and continues throughout life through secondary socialisation. Agencies such as education, peer groups, media, religion and work all teach people how to behave.

However, sociologists disagree about what socialisation does. Functionalists argue that it creates social order. Marxists argue that it can reproduce class inequality. Feminists argue that it can reproduce gender inequality. Interactionists focus on how identity is created through everyday interaction.

The key point for students is that socialisation is not just about “learning rules”. It is about how society shapes who we become.

Norms and values shape the way people behave, but they are not the same in every situation or for every social group. What counts as respectful, successful, appropriate or “normal” can vary between families, schools, peer groups, workplaces, religious settings and online spaces. These expectations can also be influenced by social class, gender, ethnicity and culture. This activity asks you to think sociologically about how people learn different norms and values, how these expectations may change across social contexts, and why sociologists argue that socialisation is closely linked to identity and inequality.

As you work through the scenarios, remember that sociology is not about stereotyping individuals or assuming that everyone in a group behaves the same way. Instead, it is about identifying patterns, asking where these patterns come from, and considering how people may accept, negotiate or resist the norms and values they are taught. This will help you develop stronger explanations for questions on culture, socialisation and identity.